Confusius say: Man who eat jelly beans fart in technicolor

Todays another day time for new beginnings, yesterday I said mean
things, but you know I didn’t mean it. It’s like running out on someone
you love even though you still love them, all I needed was time to
think, and realize how lucky I am. So when I said don’t talk to me and
slammed the door in your face, what I meant to say was I love you and
my door is always open, life wouldn’t be the same without you by me
every step of the way.

Im not addicted…I’m just affraid of that voice that says ‘goodbye’

My two biggest problems are addiction to the internet and
procrastination. I’m away from the Internet now…I’ll work on
procrastination later.

I hate it when someone asks me ‘If everyone else jumped off a
bridge, would you do it too?’ So, I’m on my way to go jump off a bridge
because I wanted to be a trend setter and jump off the bridge first. I
won’t be jumping just because everyone else did!

Notice how you and me are always online at the same time? You must be addicted.

If you got this message, I pulled myself off the computer in
order to take a brief break. I really doubt that I’ll be gone long, and
if I am, I am most definatly going through withdrawl, so please, stay,
talk, I will return within seconds.

Cute enough to make you look twice, Sweet enough but not too
nice, A lil crazy but not too wild, The kinda girl that’ll make you
smile

God made mud, God made dirt, God made boys so girls can flirt

If your name was sleep, I would be doing you in bed right now.

I can’t be with you So all I will do is sleep. Please don’t wake me up from this dream For it’s all of you that I can keep

As I lay in my bed looking at the sky I thought ‘Were the heck did my ceiling go?

This is a sad and funny away message. The sad thing is you’re
IMing me expecting me to read your message and return. The funny thing
is that I’m at my computer desk laughing the whole thing up right now.

If you sleep with a girl without protection, you’re having sex
with everyone your partner had sex with before. So if your girlfriend
slept with a guy, who slept with your ex g/f, who you slept with,
technically you could be screwing yourself.

I am off in that wonderful land where I can have anything i
want!! When i wake up i’ll have to face reality for the next 12 hours
so !!Leave me alone!!

Looking in the mirror Here’s what I see A sad little girl staring
back at me She acts so tough And so grown up But that’s not who she
really is And it’s not who she wants to be I know this because that
little girl is Me

Somewhere there’s someone who dreams of your smile and finds your
presence in life worthwhile so when you are lonely remember it’s true
somebody somewhere is thinking of you.

You know what pisses me off? People who point at the wrist when
asking the time, i know where my watch is buddy where they f**k is
yours? I mean do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is??

I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again

The sky was dark, The moon was high, We were alone, just her and
I, Her hair was brown, her eyes were too I knew just what she wanted to
do, So with my courage I did my best, I placed my handupon her breast,
I trembled and shook and felt her heart, Slowly she spread her leags
apart, I knew she was ready, But I didnt know how, It was my first try,
At milking a cow.

If you want me to fall for you, you better get something for me to trip over.

The first time I was chatting with someone online, they asked me
‘asl?’ I tried to sound it out and got realy ticked of and started
warning them because I thought they were calling me an asshole.

I am on a quest to the deepest darkest corners of my room in
search of what some would call ‘a floor’ a long and difficult task
awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for a may not return alive.

Right now I’m dancing in front of a full length mirror in spiderman underwear. I could really use some music

Think about it? Will they ever give the Tricks bunny some cereal?
‘ Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids!’ or leave the leprochon alone?’
they stole me lucky charms!’ Life is just not fair! Even the bunnies
get screwed!

I’m doing something really important right now. I’m spinning in
my computer chair, be with you when I can see straight
again……’PLease stop the room from spinning, I’d like to get off